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May 7, 2015

I guess I am on a roll today…

I have explained the reason for the title of my blog (I am a hodgepodge… like a platypus seems to be), but now I want to explain the reason for my profile picture.

I am not sure if anyone noticed it or not, but its the Tenth Doctor walking into the TARDIS. I don’t remember where I got the picture, but whoever drew it is a true artist. It captures very well the sadness of The Doctor. The eleventh Doctor is my personal favorite. He was wacky and funny, while completely serious and frightening. But the Tenth Doctor was an emotional favorite. He was sad and lonely despite having great friends around him. The character is a great example of depression… except the full of energy part.

The tenth Doctor was depressed. He would find joy in the small things and have fun with friends, but as soon as he was alone, he dropped the facade. He even admitted he was dangerous while traveling alone. He felt grief and guilt over having lost his people and especially for being the one responsible. He was alone even though his friends where there with him. He walked through life, trying to find a way to redeem himself, knowing that if he stopped for even a moment, it would crush him completely.

It’s the last piece of dialog of the tenth Doctor, though, that sticks with me. I use it to tease my wife, as he is her favorite, that I will use the same line if I am dying and get a chance to say it. The line is: “I don’t want to go.” David Tennant does an remarkable job in conveying sadness throughout the run, but this moment always brings me to tears. It reminds me of when I was suicidal. I didn’t want to die, but I felt I had no choice. It is a powerful moment all on its own, but when I look at the three seasons that David Tennant played the tenth Doctor and look at the stories and see the depression and loneliness of the character, the line cuts clean through. That scene was not meant to mirror suicide, but having been there, I can say in my experience it does a very good job in explaining the feelings of someone in that position.

Before I start to remember to much, I will stop there. Doctor Who is one of my favorite shows because it shows everyday struggles in an extraordinary way. Whether that was purposely done or not, to me I can relate to the Doctor as he struggles to find his way in a dangerous universe that seems to have no other purpose than to attack him just because he had the audacity to keep going.

On a similar note, this article has been around for a bit, and I have been wanting to link it because its a very nice article:

This Is What Depression Really Looks Like by Laura Silver

Laura does a great job explaining her own article so I will leave it at that.

From → Musings

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